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Science & Nature
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Size Matters: The Icelandic Penis Museum's Comical Quest for a Worthy Human Specimen
The Icelandic Phallological Museum's quest for a human penis specimen hit a snag when its first donation ended up a shriveled mess. This prompted the curator to publicly declare he was waiting for 'a younger and a bigger and better one,' kicking off a bizarre international competition.
For any collection, the final piece is the most significant. For the Icelandic Phallological Museum—the world's only museum dedicated entirely to the penis—that final piece was the one that hit closest to home: a human specimen. Founded by Sigurður Hjartarson, the museum had amassed an impressive collection of phalluses from nearly every mammal in Iceland. By the early 2010s, only one remained, and the hunt for a *Homo sapiens* was on.
The Long-Awaited Donation
The museum’s first pledge came from Páll Arason, a 95-year-old Icelandic man described as a former adventurer and womanizer. He had promised his penis to the collection upon his death, finally giving the museum its long-sought-after prize. In January 2011, Arason passed away, and the procedure to harvest the organ began. The museum, and the world's media, waited with bated breath. This was meant to be the crowning jewel of a peculiar, yet scientific, collection.
A Flaccid Disappointment
Unfortunately, the final result was less than spectacular. The preservation process went horribly wrong. Due to Arason's advanced age and a botched removal procedure, the penis shriveled significantly. The museum described the final product as a 'greyish-brown, shrivelled mass' pickled unceremoniously in a jar of formalin. It was, to put it mildly, an anticlimax. The promised testicles were also missing. This was not the proud representation of mankind the museum had hoped to display alongside the formidable organs of whales and polar bears.
The Search for a 'Bigger and Better One'
Faced with this disappointing specimen, the museum's curator and founder's son, Hjörtur Gísli Sigurðsson, made a frank and now-famous declaration. He told the press he was holding out for something more impressive. His exact words captured the museum's unique blend of scientific pursuit and showmanship:
I am just waiting for a younger and a bigger and better one.
This public plea triggered an unexpected response. Two new donors stepped forward, sparking an international 'penis race.' American Tom Mitchell, who nicknamed his organ 'Elmo,' offered to donate his, even creating a comic book about it. He went as far as to have a cast made for the museum. Not to be outdone, New Yorker Jonah Falcon, a man reputed to have one of the largest penises in the world, also pledged his specimen upon his death. The quirky quest for a single organ had become a global media spectacle, cementing the museum's place in the annals of bizarre history.
A Collection Complete... For Now
While the museum did eventually receive a more suitable and well-preserved human specimen, the story of Páll Arason's shriveled donation and the subsequent public search remains its most famous chapter. It highlights a strange intersection of ego, legacy, and scientific curiosity, proving that even in the world of phallology, the journey can be just as interesting as the destination.